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Fickle Boy

by Makaena Marie

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1.
Graphite 00:24
2.
Sleepy 05:43
*contains strong language* the rhythm of a heart that beats in threes the world slowing down, but i can’t fall asleep dreaming of a whole day in bed stuck somewhere in between “i’ll stay” and “don’t go yet” and since we’re being honest i don’t know how to feel never heard a crescendo this loud in my ears before so soon so stay, can we stay right here? just this moment with souls intertwined and the smell of you near tell me what i’m hoping, you’ve got nowhere else to be but here with me be in peace since we’re being honest i don’t know how to feel never heard a crescendo this loud in my ears before so soon and ye maybe we skipped a step or two but i don’t give a fuck cuz you’re the first time in a while i haven’t been left off the hook for far too long just wondering about the could have beens and that damn poem you wrote for me’s the first thing that’s been really good since god knows when since we’re being honest i don’t know how to feel never heard a crescendo this loud in my ears before so soon
3.
i’m no queen of timing i tell people i love them right before they hang up so i don’t have to hear the reply and i’m the one they often come to for advice because they known i’ve got good ideals but i've never had a love to call my own and i’ve been known to play all my cards too soon and they’re so impressed by me at least until they see all alone in my room writing songs at unreasonable hours of the night is all i ever really do ever since i was in kindergarten and i loved a boy, whose name was sam and he went and moved to a new town i have always been unlucky, left behind or simply just too afraid, without the courage to speak my mind and i’ve been known to play all my cards too soon and they’re so impressed by me at least until they see all alone in my room writing songs at unreasonable hours of the night is all i ever really do it's all i really do
4.
i’ve heard it once, a thousand times “you deserve better” just a nice way of saying maybe there’s nobody out there for you you’ve made a fool of me didn’t even break my heart i’m just tired of being knocked down before start counting all these little losses counting all these little losses you say we'll still be friends but a friend wouldn’t do this to me i blame you and all the times you said you cared i see it clearly now you want to be a better person lucky you, because i always believe the best you’ve made a fool of me didn’t even break my heart i’m just tired of being knocked down before start counting all these little losses counting all these little losses should’ve trusted my instincts every time i think i’ve learned but i just keep coming back an open heart always gets burned and they just take from you until they’ve had their fill then you’re discarded, disregarded after all your guts you’ve spilled you’ve made a fool of me didn’t even break my heart i’m just tired of being knocked down before start counting all these little losses counting all these little losses
5.
Pretender 03:13
would it mean something if i leaned in closer? too late to think too slow to keep track of what we’ve said oh we shouldn’t be here oh we shouldn’t heavy knocking on the door we cling for our breath we’re safe but it’s a fallacy i need someone to hold on to and tell me what i don’t wanna know i can take it if it hits me in a breath of smoke tell me what i shouldn’t ask it isn’t like me to let go of a grudge so fast go on, tell me what i don’t wanna know i can take it if it hits me in a breath of smoke tell me what i shouldn’t ask it isn’t like me to let go of a grudge so fast you’ve cast a spell on me history means nothing he’s a pretender we’re all pretenders it’s a mode of survival oh we shouldn’t be here oh we shouldn’t heavy knocking on the door i need you to promise me i won’t be left alone heavy breathing, we’re too close exactly what i need so tell me what i don’t wanna know i can take it if it hits me in a breath of smoke tell me what i shouldn’t ask it isn’t like me to let go of a grudge so fast go on, tell me what i don’t wanna know i can take it if it hits me in a breath of smoke tell me what i shouldn’t ask it isn’t like me to let go of a grudge so fast tell me, tell me he’s a pretender tell me, tell me i’m beautiful tell me, tell me we’re cool for tonight tell me, tell me it’s going to be all tell me what i don’t wanna know i can take it if it hits me in a breath of smoke tell me what i shouldn’t ask it isn’t like me to let go of a grudge so fast go on, tell me what i don’t wanna know i can take it if it hits me in a breath of smoke tell me what i shouldn’t ask it isn’t like me to let go of a grudge so fast
6.
Ink 00:48
open heart all ways gets burned

credits

released February 3, 2018

written by Makaena Durias
produced by Makaena Durias
cover photo by Nat Ware @natwareart (Instagram)

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Makaena Marie Portland, Oregon

Makaena Marie is a singer/songwriter based in Portland, Oregon who writes lullaby pop songs on the ukulele.

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